The soft fall sunlight is beginning but it's still warm and sunny. Occasionally it's off shore and Matt the Cat is able to enjoy some jiggy waves at Ocean Beach. Now that he has a steady income he can afford to drive into the City instead of having make do with the local dreck. With my heart beating normally I'm continuing to feel wonderful. After all the troubles earlier this year and trying to resign myself to a life of atrial fibrillation where only half my heart beats, I sometimes feel like I'm in a dream. Things can't possibly stay this wonderful. Maybe this is a dream and I'll wake up to find out I'm actually a seamstress in a sweat shop in Saipan... But then I wake up to the sound of Matt fumbling around in the bathroom. The early sunlight is softly lighting up the outIine of my curtains and I realize that, oh joy!, I get to steal another lovely day as the Mayor of Happy Acres.
I'll be going back to the gym today to exercise like normal people do. I'm having fun working out on the various cardiovascular machines. You'd be surprised how tricky the treadmill is. I decided to check it out. I stepped on the "tread" and hit 'Quick Start'. The tread started moving slowly backward and I started walking slowly forward. I realized that, in order to get some actual aerobic exercise out of this machine, I had to push some buttons on the computer screen ahead of me. There was an "^" button for faster so I punched that a few times until my MPH registered 3. Then I pushed the button that raises the machine to a higher level of incline to simulate walking uphill. I thought I'd start with a 1 degree slant and see how that felt. The tread starting moving faster, I started walking faster and the tread mill raised up by a small amount. "Hey! I'm walking slightly uphill at 3 MPH!" I still had my hands firmly on the side rails while I looked down at my feet to make sure I didn't accidentally wander off the tread since, as a novice, I didn't feel comfortable letting go and looking up. It's kind of like riding a bike. I don't mind riding with one hand on the handle bars briefly if you need to scratch your nose, but the idea of riding with both hands free is preposterous to me. I assume the bike would instantly veer sharply to one side and I'd find myself crashing to the the pavement covered in road rash.
I looked over at the guy next to me. He was going 4 MPH and he was swinging his arms vigorously, looking straight ahead. I thought to myself: "This is ridiculous. I'm just walking in a straight line, for Christ's sake, just look up, let go of the rails, and walk like a normal human being." Well, easier said than done. I was good for a couple of seconds then I found myself wandering slightly or falling behind a bit and my sneakers started making this high pitched squealing noise because I had faded backward onto the drum roller that powers the tread. I quickly increased my pace, grabbed the rails and looked down at my feet. I tried letting go and looking up a few more times but soon started wandering off course again with sneakers squeaking their warning about my pace. I didn't want the other treadmillers to hear that sound since it was kind of the equivalent of farting...
As a former champion stud volleyball player I feel humiliated that I can't walk freely on a treadmill. Lesson two will commence this afternoon. Wish me luck...
As a former champion stud volleyball player I feel humiliated that I can't walk freely on a treadmill. Lesson two will commence this afternoon. Wish me luck...
I've commenced a delightful e-mail correspondence with our old friend Joanie. I sent her a copy of one of my first typing therapy 101 e-mails. I think the title was "Weasels Ripped My Flesh". She was kind enough to say that I was a "wonderful writer". That was a nice little thrill as it was coming from a published novelist but then, Joan, God love her, tends to be encouraging about anybody's attempt at pretty much anything. I don't care. I'm sticking with the image of "wonderful writer" which does not bode well for all of you as it means I'll probably continue to bombard you with this "verbosity" as Nicole puts it.
Back when Nicole and I were in the romantic phase of our relationship we were occasionally invited to various social gatherings, where I would often find myself wandering into 'extrovert mode' with some silly story, I would feel this pressure on my foot. I'd look down and find Nicole's shoe stepping on mine. That was her signal to me saying: "Sneedy; shut up and let these other nice people get a word in edgewise..." With that in mind, I see that I've already written four paragraphs which Nicole said should be my limit so I will stop here. I thank you all for letting me exercise my new fully functioning fingers in typing therapy 101.
Back when Nicole and I were in the romantic phase of our relationship we were occasionally invited to various social gatherings, where I would often find myself wandering into 'extrovert mode' with some silly story, I would feel this pressure on my foot. I'd look down and find Nicole's shoe stepping on mine. That was her signal to me saying: "Sneedy; shut up and let these other nice people get a word in edgewise..." With that in mind, I see that I've already written four paragraphs which Nicole said should be my limit so I will stop here. I thank you all for letting me exercise my new fully functioning fingers in typing therapy 101.
Best wishes to all, Mickey da Mayor
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