Maritorius Muriel

Happy New Year, Everybody!

I saw a wonderful movie the other day at my 6 AM movie theater:  "Muriel's Wedding", starring Toni Collette (the wife in "Little Miss Sunshine").  There's a word for a man who is besotted with and slavishly devoted to his wife.  Uxorious---a wonderful word.  I have a tenant who qualifies, unfortunately to a fault.  The opposite is so rare that this is what the "inter-tubes" had to say about it: 

There's no word in common use that can be used to describe a wife who is similarly fond of her husband. The only candidate is the invented word maritorious, from the Latin word for a husband, maritus. But it's extremely rare: the 20-volume historical Oxford English Dictionary has only two examples, one from 1607 and one from 1978. 

That says volumes about wives, eh?...  Well our gal Muriel desperately wants to be married so she can be gloriously maritorious.  She looks at pictures of wedding dresses all day while sequestered in her room listening to ABBA songs.  I thought to myself:  "Yea!  ABBA songs!"  The movie is great.  It's hard to imagine that this overweight ugly duckling turns into Toni Collette as an adult.  She must have had work done...  I looked forward to being aurally bathed in the magic music of ABBA.  Yes folks it's true...I'm an ABBAholic...  I also laugh at stupid jokes and cry at sappy movies.  Many's the time, when I was at the movies with Nicole, when a touching scene would come on,  I'd be quietly weeping while Nicole would be rolling her eyes and sticking her finger down her throat.  (Don't deny it, Sneedy...you know it's true...).

So I admit, my tastes are pretty catholic.  I pretty much like everybody and everything with the exceptions of bullies, liver, raisins (horrible thing to do to a grape...) and horseradish.  To me a snob is someone with excessively discriminating taste.  By extension, I guess the ultimate snob would be someone who hates everything and everybody.  Of the two types:  The one who loves ABBA songs, laughs at stupid jokes and cries at sappy movies; and the other who is so discriminating he/she is disdainful of most everything.  I ask you:  Who has the richer more emotionally rewarding life?  I'm just saying...

I'm reminded of when I lived at Tahoe and I was near the mid-mountain lodge at Squaw Valley.  I was watching all these incredibly chic skiers all decked out in their designer ski pants and their Bogner parkas schussing down the mountain with these bored expressions on their faces.  Then I ran into my old girlfriend Kate.  "Hi Kate!  What have you been up to?"  Well Kate had been supervising a bunch of developmentally challenged kids--mostly Down's syndrome and the like.  Then I saw an amazing sight coming down the bunny hill.  It was a conga line of kids on skis.  They were all on their butts with their skis splayed out in front of them sliding merrily along like some kind of big jolly centipede.  "Here they come now" says Kate.  As they slid up to where we were standing everyone of them was shrieking with joyful laughter.  Hmmm, who's having more fun skiing...these kids?  or the "chic" set?

For my money, ABBA's "Fernando" is one of the great pop songs of our generation.  Right up there with Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody".  I'm getting a lump in my throat just thinking about it...

For those rabid ABBA fans among you (I know you're out there) here are the lyrics.  You're all invited to sing along.  A one and a two and a...

(Love and kisses, Mickey da Mayor of Happy Acres)

Can you hear the drums Fernando?

I remember long ago another starry night like this
In the firelight Fernando
You were humming to yourself and softly strumming        your guitar  
I could hear the distant drums
And sounds of bugle calls were coming from afar

They were closer now Fernando
Every hour every minute seemed to last eternally
I was so afraid Fernando
We were young and full of life and none of us prepared to die
And I'm not ashamed to say
The roar of guns and cannons almost made me cry

There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando
They were shining there for you and me for liberty, Fernando
Though we never thought that we could lose, there's no regret
If I had to do the same again, I would my friend, Fernando
If I had to do the same again, I would my friend, Fernando

Now we're old and gray Fernando
Since many years I haven't seen a rifle in your hand
Can you hear the drums Fernando?
Do you still recall the faithful night we crossed the Rio Grande?
I can see it in your eyes
How proud you were to fight for freedom in this land

There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando
They were shining there for you and me for liberty, Fernando
Though we never thought that we could lose, there's no regret
If I had to do the same again, I would my friend, Fernando

There not writing 'em like that anymore...